Washing Machine Woes

I must needs back up a spell and give you the FULL history behind my "new" washing machine. It became very clear to my husband and I close to 2 years ago that we were going to HAVE to invest in a larger washer / dryer.
***I am still completely convinced that fairies enter my house every night and wear our clothing, because we do manufacture a buttload of dirty clothes daily**
Anyway....our dryer bit the dust about 2 years ago, so we took the plunge and bought a nice set of GE front end loading bad boy machines.
OH THE SHEER JOY of being able to wash 20 pairs of jeans at one time as opposed to 2!!!
My life is complete!!!....or is it???

So, it's like Christmas at The Nuthouse the day the beautiful machines arrived. My wonderful husband and brother-in-law brought them in and hooked them up. No worries?? They've done this PLENTY of times with other washers & dryers, right? Yes they have, so we're good.

For some reason the kids were all gone (aaaahhhhh peace) so Randy & I being completely infatuated with our new toys, decided it was washin' time! Oh boy! I will admit that when I first looked at them, the dials and buttons looked like something taken from a space ship and I was convinced I would never learn how to wash and dry clothes for my family, but alas!....It was fairly easy to learn.

So, lets put in 20 pairs of jeans and test this sucker out! What else do we have to do? Absolutely nothing...."Go get the jeans, honey!" So in the jeans go and here the two of us sit (yes, we pulled up chairs) as if we were at the movies, watching our first load of clothes wash. Sssshhhhh....what's that noise??? Wait! There is NO NOISE. It's the quietest thing, so unlike the last washing machine. NICE.

It was truly amazing....it would turn one way for about 15 seconds then stop and go back the other way for 15 seconds. How does it know how much water to put in? I have no clue but it does. A site to behold....we just needed some popcorn and a coke and we'd be set.

Could we have sat there and watched the entire cycle? Yes, because remember we had nothing else to do. But, seeing as how it was a Friday night...no kids in the house....we decided to watch some tv (YEEEHAAAWWW) etc....Remember how quiet I said the new, glistening white machine was??? Well not for long my friends. Our ears were soon pierced by the loud noise one makes when it gets unbalanced. WHAT???? It can't be....this sucker says it will wash 500 pairs of jeans and by golly it better not have been no fib! We got 10 legs in this house that have to wear pants!

So we race into the laundry room to see the "beast" rocking back and forth on her pedestal. Not good. Well, maybe we got over zealous and put a few too many pounds of denim in on the first round. So, I took a few pairs out...still thinking I shouldn't have to be taking these out...It should wash all of this with no problem!!!

Nutshell: This happend 3-4 more times with me taking out more and more jeans and getting more and more furious with each denim deletion. This can't be happening???
And Randy...boy he is all red-faced and fuming at this point.

I think the last time, she only held 2 pairs of jeans. I go about my business as does Randy and AGAIN...only this time it's REALLY loud with more noise than usual, almost as if the machine was trying to tell us something (ya think?)....I go flying in there and to my amazement my brand new washing machine has rocked almost all the way off her pedestal (what a crock of crud that word is), is leaning forward, which means the water hoses are pulled REEEEALLY tight at this point, and the corner of my machine has put a NICE hole in the closet door directly across from the machine location (which by the way is STILL not fixed).

OH MY DEAR HEAVENS!!!!!!!! "Randy get in here NOWWWWW!!!!"
Oh the fury and rage the 2 of us are now engulfed in. We get the machine back onto her pedestal (again...crock) and decide at this point we are not turning the beast back on until we figure out what the mess is going on.

Now keep in mind...we are now approaching 11pm on a Friday night and Randy has the phone in hand, getting ready to call Mr. GE himself. "Hey there hun?? Who do you think is going to talk to you about our washing machine on a Friday night at 11 o'clock?? Hmm?? To which he responds, "I don't know but SOMEBODY is gonna come fix this thing or come get it one!...You pay that much for something, it BEST work!"

So while he's furiously searching for Mr. GE's phone number, I calmly sit at the opposite end of the couch and decide to skim through the owner's manual. "Hey honey....did you read any of this before you backed that bad boy into it's permanent location?" "What? NO?? (with an "I KNOW what i'm doing" look on his face) It's a washing machine...it's no different than any other one I've put in except that you throw the clothes in the front instead of at the top."

You know, a man needs no directions for anything.

So...continuing to do more skimming, I stumble upon a big BOLD warning that went something like this:
YOU MUST REMOVE THOSE HONKIN' BIG SILVER BOLTS THAT ARE LOCATED ON THE BACK OF THE WASHING MACHINE OR YOUR APPLIANCE WILL GET OVERBALANCED CAUSING IT TO SHAKE VIOLENTLY AND SAIL THROUGH YOUR ALMOST BRAND NEW CLOSET DOOR YOU MORON!!!!!

"Hey Hun....did you take those bolt thingies off the back of it?"
"Those what?"
"It says here that there are some bolts on the back that you have to remove first...did y'all do that?"

Now, need I really say more? If you are a woman you can clearly see that I was the one who was now wanting Mr. GE's phone number so I could call him and ask him if he was going to pay for my lawyer fees to cover my DIVORCE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So of course, he has to rant and rave about how he's NEVER EVER EVER NEVER installed a washing machine that had bolts on the back of it...yadda yadda yadda...."DID YOU SEE THE PRICE TAG ON THESE THINGS THERE RANDY???? THEY BROUGHT THEM IN FROM FREAKIN' NASA....DID YOU EXPECT THEM TO BE THE SAME OL' SAME OL' INSTILLATION????

Oh heavens...i'm getting all worked up thinking about it and it's been 2 years since it happened. It's amazing how many pairs of jeans that thing will wash with the bolts properly removed.

Now, fast-forward to the present time with a warning from ME..... research up and down and all around front end loaders BEFORE you buy one. We have had mucho trouble here lately with ours and if I can get a hold of that Sears repairman, he's gonna be walking back to his service van with a shiny, silver bolt inserted where the sun don't shine.

Oh my....i'm worn out now. Just the flashbacks and mental images and sheer anguish i've suffered while typing this.... I need a nap.

If you are planning on buying a front end loader....I wish you the best.....

Flashback

Let me say, so you don't think that I am losing my mind or that you are....I started a blog a few months back, so I have copied/pasted to this new one. So that explains why you are about to read a blog that starts off with a "Happy St. Patricks Day" as we are in the month of August. Clear as mud? Thought so.



Well, first-off I’ll say --

Happy St. Patrick’s Day.
Now that’s out of the way.
(that rhymed you know).

And next, I’ll give a quick update on the members of the Nuthouse. I’ll start with me because i’m the one writing this, and well, because I’m special.

Me: Please note that the picture to the left represents a current photo of myself, even down to the food stuffed into my mouth...uncanny I tell you..... I’m sitting here at the moment thinking of the laundry that I need to be doing, and the office that I really need to straighten up, and the Monkey room that needs some serious attention, and that I’m supposed to go have some lab work done today, and I smell my chicken that’s boiling on the stove for tonight’s casserole, and that I wish summer would hurry up and get here, and....ok...i’ll stop for now. Oh yeah...and the worst of it all is that starting bright and early at 5am in the morning, I’ll be working 36 hours in the next 3 days and that REALLY reeks. My body rejects work of that nature, so i’m not looking forward to it at all. I am however looking forward to Friday night. We’ve decided to have some friends/family over to grill burgers and then have an easter egg hunt outside in the DARK....something i’ve never done, but it just sounds like fun.....crazy people, dark, flashlights, brightly colored eggs, and a cemetery...now what could possibly be wrong with that mixture??? I’m so excited!

The Husband: Here he is with his mistress, Bill. This photo just screams SPECIAL, or as we prefer to pronounce it, PECIAL. They truly are special, and I often wish that they lived together instead of Randy and I. It would just make it easier on everyone...well, maybe except for Bill because then he would be stuck with Randy. Oh well, you can’t please everyone. Nothing really to update on Randy. He did have a small crisis over the weekend when he discovered that someone neglected to put the fingernail clippers "back where they’re supposed to go". I was able to talk him down and I think he’s ok. I suppose time will tell. He was a happy boy the past few days because Ethyn has been here with us. We would like that to be a permanent thing, but it’s not likely to happen, BUT we can keep hoping and praying that it does. We actually had a span of 3-4 hours alone Saturday evening and took the opportunity to eat at Harveys, one of our favorite spots, and actually saw a movie, Fool’s Gold (it was ok, but it’s one of those I don’t care to see again). I love you honey.

Preston:
(note he has a snowball in one hand and the phone to his ear in the other)Ah, the P-Mite....this child is here recently going to be the death of me. I have had to lower the boom on his obsessive cell phone use... during spring break, I thought I was going to have to have it surgically removed from his ear. I let him know that people who are engaged to marry don’t even talk as much as he and Amelia do??? I was taught growing up that if a boy wanted to talk to you, then HE would do the calling. I was not allowed to call boys, so basically I was never on the phone with a boy growing up because my buck teeth, bad hair and the "you can’t call boys" rule were all going against me. But that’s ok...if I had known then what I know now about boys, I wouldn’t have been near as bothered by it back then, but I digress. You drive me nuts, Preston, but I love you dearly.

Ethyn:This child also causes me to wonder why 8th graders need a girlfriend/boyfriend. Why can’t they just be content to hang out with friends of the SAME sex...playing sports or riding bikes or what have you??? I believe at the current second, he and his girlfriend Hannah are "together", but that can change in the blink of an eye. These two are a "on again / off again" couple indeed. I’m not sure what the deal is there. He doesn’t talk much about it when questioned. I do remember telling him a few days ago..."well, i’m sure you’ll be back together in no time," to which he responded, "NO WE WON’T". And of course one of them gave in ONCE again. I don’t know too much about Hannah because she’s not from Pontotoc, so I don’t ever see her. We did go see a production of Cinderella that she was in a few weeks ago. She played an evil stepsister and was REALLY good....has a great talent for that. I’m hoping to go see her in many more no matter if she and Ethyn are an item or not! You should probably avoid marriage at all costs Ethyn....but I love you.

Haley:Haley made me a proud Mommy when she went to her first band function where she had to play a solo in front of judges and made a "1"....or SUPERIOR...she was so excited and we were very proud and happy for her!!! For those who don’t know, she plays the clarinet in band. I’m hoping she sticks with it for many reasons, but one of the main ones is so I can be a chaperon for the annual band, Disney World trip!!!...I should get some fun and comfort after listening to the first few years of practicing, right??? Spring soccer season has started back, and she has her first game tomorrow night. I love to watch soccer, but the team aint so hot this year bless their little hearts. She wasn’t even wanting to play this spring because they did so poorly in the fall, but since it was already paid for and we had the tacky pink jersey with purple swirls on the shoulders, by golly, we’re playing!!! Look up buttercup....things WILL get better and I LOVE LOVE you!

Well, I suppose i’ve done enough here for one day. I’ll go do my laundry, fix my casserole, clean the office, straighten up the monkey room....yeah...you’ve heard it before......

LATER.....

Who Are We You Ask????

Well let me tell you, in case you don't know. To the left over there would be myself and my husband, Randy. We have been married since June of 2004. I'm a lot more laid back than he is, so that sometimes causes feathers to ruffle, but for the most part we gel well together. He's not what you would call a "romantic", but he's extremely loving...a very touchy / feely kind of man. He's a cuddler which is a complete 180 from what i'm used to...it's a good thing. When I'm not undergoing a raging case of PMS, I suppose he enjoys my company. We laugh a lot and if it weren't for humor, i'm completely convinced that one of us would be dead and the other would be doing time.

To the right over there would be my 15 year old son, Preston aka "P-Mite". Preston is definitely my child in that he is (most of the time) laid back and sometimes so much to the point that you have to poke him with a sharp object to get his attention. He hates school with a passion but enjoys getting to see his friends and of course his girlfriend, Amelia. He loves football and that's about the only sport that he shows interest in. He wants a dirtbike so badly he can taste it. The thought of him on one terrifies me in all honesty. The child has already had 2 concussions in his 15 years...we need no more trauma on his record people! He is a very loving child (mostly)...why he got the "Hugger of the Year" award in the 2nd grade, and not a day goes by that he doesn't tell me he loves me SEVERAL times. He's been through a lot in his young life, but he's also had a lot of exciting, positive times that most kids his age will never experience.


Here we have Ethyn, aka "E-Man", my 14 year old stepson. He currently lives with his mother and visits when the mood hits him. This child has gone through a lot of change in the last couple of years. He went from being an only child to being one of 3 when Randy & I married. It was some major change for him with some honkin' big bumps in the road, but everything is muuuch better now. His personality has changed a lot in the last year or so, for the better. He is a joy to be around...well behaved (for the most part) and when he wants to be, can be very loving. He likes to go and do all the time but seems to be more relaxed lately in having to HAVE something to entertain him, which is nice. He is the dirtbike boy....it's his passion in life at the present time. He's not into any sports right now other than racing. He makes extremely good grades in school and is my most organized child BY FAR...takes care of his stuff and please note that it is HIS STUFF or else!

Brace yourselves....it's a girl...need I say more??? This is Haley, aka "HaleyBug". She is my almost 12 year old bottle of emotions. One minute we're smiling and the next we are in tears...raging...squealing...head hurting...TEARS. I just don't get it. I don't remember going through the ups and downs, the mood swings when I was her age??? She shot out of my birth canal with her eyes already in "rolled mode" and enough attitude for our entire town's population. Head strong doesn't even begin to cover it. This is the child I've had to read books on to learn how to be a parent...just look at that beautiful face....does it look like trouble??? Heck no! Who knew? I think if I had had her first, Preston would not be in existence. BUT....and here lately my BUT is huge....when her vibes are beating positively, her smile is infectious...her sense of humor, warped (which I love) and she's just plain fun to be with! Will she one day cause me to be in the corner of a sterile room, sporting a snug fitting jacket and a drop of spittle dangling from my chin...possibly, but I wouldn't take anything for this girl...headaches, drama and all!


So here you have us ~ the members of The Nuthouse. You will learn more and more about our lives in the months to come. Some stories may prompt you to want to have the Department of Human Services on speed dial, but I strongly encourage you not to do that for your own safety. I know where you live......